Ready....Set....Go.....Walking!

Sand Dollar Shell

Another goal I had in mind for when I retired was to get active. Those who adopt that crazy mindset "Living to Work" rather than "Working to Live" will understand. I didn't allow enough time for exercise and when I found the time, I was too tired and just couldn't make myself get into an active living style. Although I have a dreadmill (treadmill) and do a mile or two here and there, it wasn't enough and I knew it. And....to top it off, there are just certain things I'm good at, procrastination when it comes to exercise just happens to be one of them, more so as I got older.

Brenda, Pam, Sue, Kay Myrtle Beach Walkers

Hence, when I got to Myrtle this February, I was more than eager to accept the offer of a few ladies here at the condo to walk with them daily at 8 AM each morning. When the tide is low, we walk along the beach and when the tide is high, we walk along the sidewalk on Ocean Blvd. It works out to be just over 3 miles a day at a pretty good clip. They say it takes 21 days to create the habit and I'm half way there!

Thank you Brenda, Pam, Pat, Kay! Not only that, I've learned a lot from you all about the various trees and shells in Myrtle as well. A great little collection is underway for Charlie. And, as I type this entry, I have a sand-dollar soaking in a bit of bleach to add to the ever growing collection.

Fred It Is! No Longer a Mystery

Another project I decided to take on in retirement was to sort, organize and digitize many of my old photographs. Not to mention the box of photos I inherited  from my mother who died 2 years ago this May. In her box, were many old negatives and as I held some of them up to the light, I soon realized that I had never before laid eyes on some of those photos. I became very intrigued and after a few hours, I gathered up about 100 negatives and brought them down to Myrtle Beach with me. I knew I'd enjoy a working on them while 'snowbirding'.

I found a great shop in Myrtle that digitizes negatives. A week later, my digitized treasures were ready. When I went to pick them up, the fellow at the shop said he quite enjoyed seeing my childhood. He mentioned that the negatives were quite good to work with and for the time period (1950s for the most part) they were very good. I mentioned that my mom was an avid photographer from when she was a teen and had a great Kodak-Chrome camera with the big dish like flash. He said, indeed, it was a great camera for the time. I remember well how my mom treasured that camera.

The Mystery

On to the reason for this post. Now you know why I called this site 'ramblings'!  As I looked at this photograph, I immediately knew Pub (my grandmother Violet, my mom's mom) but I had no idea who was in the photo with her. Her husband died shortly after my mom was born and this couldn't possibly be a brother. Who was this man she seemed to be so fond of?  I lived with Pub for a few years and certainly don't remember seeing him. I asked a couple of cousins, nobody seemed to know. We think that she was about 56 years old give or take a year in this photograph. That night, I went to bed wondering, thinking and reflecting and out of nowhere, or so it seemed, that inner voice came to me again with the words Fred.  In my mind I was asking my mom who it was........Fred, it's Fred Debbie.  Who's Fred?

Imagine my astonishment when the next morning, I received an email from Jerry Newbury, my mother's younger brother with these words :

"The person with my mom was an old long time boyfriend when she lived in Windsor Ont.  They were friends for many years until Carol, Mom and myself moved in together in Toronto.  His name was Fred Gardner and he worked at Syroco as a fitter in heavy industry.  He was a good person kind and generous.  He died after our move to Toronto."

I already knew that didn't I? Fred, said the voice. Who's voice?

Your First Memory

Deb to the left, Dan in the High Chair. My Gramma to the
Back Right (Carol's Mom)

When was your first memory? Tough question isn't it? Think about it, it's not that easy to answer initially.

My mom always thought I had a good memory and when I used to describe the houses that we lived in when I was quite young, she would wonder how I could possibly remember, as I would have only been two or three years old. We moved a lotand by the time I reached five years old, we had already moved about 4 times and I did remember each of those homes.

So why this photo?

My first memory is that of me pushing my dolls around in the stroller. I remember wanting a stroller for my dolls in the worst of ways. Well, here's the stroller and I'm about 2, I named my doll 'Edna' thinking it was the most beautiful name for a girl in the world.

Looking at this picture now, it's from the 50's, my grandmother would have been 57 and my brother about one, I was two. Smoking was the norm back then and I only ever remember my gramma, whom I called Pub as a smoker - I even remember the brand 'DuMaurier'.

Six years after this photo was taken, my Gramma died of a massive heart attack. In those times, children weren't really told about death. I wasn't really sure what happened to her but I knew she was gone and I knew I missed her lots. I was very close to my gramma, I felt her spirit for many, many years later and well into adulthood. More on that in future ramblings.

The Voice Within

This is where I might lose a few of you. But then again, who's this blog for?

From as far back as I can remember, I have had images of ballet cross my mind. At a very young age, around three,  I believed I was a ballerina. I used to tell my friends that when I lived before, I was a ballet dancer.  I was most certain of it, so much so, that I even began to show my friends, some ballet moves and when we played, we practiced our moves. Like I knew! I had never watched ballet or taken a lesson!  One day, one of their mothers called to find out where I took lessons as she would like to start her daughter.

BUSTED!

Who ever that roommate in my brain was, did seem to have a big impact on me. I've never taken ballet, never watched ballet on our black and white television and never even went to a ballet performance until I was well into my forties.

There were many nights  I would awake from a dead sleep only to find myself in a ballet pose! Although most were in bed, some of them were on the floor beside my bed! This happened repeatedly - still does on a rare occasion!  Once, my ex  asked what I was doing. Was I about to expose my inner craziness? I think not. I honestly can't actually count how many times, I woke myself up, engaged in a ballet pose. What does it all mean? Why the immense attraction?  Why am I so drawn to ballet? Why did I seem to know about ballet? Thank goodness I'm not the obsessive type, or I'd own every ballet trinket ever invented!

Through out the years, I did find myself gravitating to photos, statues and prints showing the absolute grace of ballet. Not the frilly, girly types, more of the abstract form. I have a few Degas like fake mask figurines, I read Painted Ladies and I have a few Degas prints. I keep it quiet for the most part. But those who know me, sense my inner pleasure of the beautiful art of ballet.

And, to my daughter, if you didn't enjoy those years of ballet lessons, you now know why it was so important for me to make sure you had the opportunity to take ballet even though you weren't a magnet to it.

On that note......or graceful step,  Steve Job's quote comes to mind: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice." Not that I've quite figured out the reason for my attraction driven by that inner voice,  but I have accepted it as something important for what ever reason.

It's Not What I Have, It's Who I Have

Who comes first? Why my kids of course. This photo was taken in 2015 and you guessed it, my kids. Tanya (Sullivan) and Ryan (Russell).

I know most parents think they've got the best kids, however, fact is, I do! Hands down!! AND, more than anything else, I only want happiness for them. I'm  over the top proud of them for just being who they are. After all, they're pretty good at it.

What makes a mom proud? Happy kids doing the right thing. They defend me, they support me, they 'get' me, they don't wanna let me down and truth is, they never do!

I really hope they always figure out the secret that the key to happiness is not chasing it but being it. So far, they're pretty good at it. See why I'm so proud???!!!

Not to mention that they're generous, they're grateful, they challenge themselves AND, they smile lots. And that's happiness!

Principal Russell Retires: No More Bells

June 29, 2015
My Last Day!

June 25, 2015 became the last day that my life was 'lived by the bells'. I was principal at Forest Hill Public School for almost 7 years. Most of them good, some......let's just save that for another rambling(s).

The bells governed most of my life from the time I went to school, pursued an education in teaching and eventually becoming a principal. The bells were ever present, so much so that I didn't even bother to wear a watch, the bells guided my time and much of what I did.

I enjoyed life in education.  I never really thought I was stressed in my role when I became a school principal, despite others thinking I was. I will say, it was an extremely time consuming job and I certainly viewed that as the downside.

On that last day, I took a selfie!  A friend said, "Oh my, in that photo, it looks like you need to retire.  You look stressed."  Don't you just love the honesty from your friends? So there it is, my last day as a principal. I couldn't believe retirement had arrived, I was over the top and overjoyed about 'NO MORE BELLS'. Some fight retirment, not me, I'm so over the top excited!!!

Stressed? Really? I'll let you be the judge. 

Let's Get Started

I retired at the end of June 2015 and always thought that I should create a website or a blog for my reflections which are really more along the lines of my ramblings.

It's now February 2016 and as I sit overlooking the ocean in sunny Myrtle Beach, I finally bought a domain name and here is my first post. I'm not new to this, I do have a couple of websites, but this one is different. It's personal,  it's from the heart, the soul and my mind and it will be filled with a mirror of reflections on anything and everything that might have mattered over the years.

I once read a quote by Graham Greene who said:

"Life was lived in the first twenty years and the remainder was just reflection."

That quote resonated with me. Isn't it interesting how a memory is evoked by a mere a simple cue like a few words from somebody, an image, a daydream, a tune, an action, a photo, a flashback or something you read that immediately sends you from that point of reality to a reflection from the past! Before you know if you've dis-engaged from what you were doing and begin to enjoy that remnant or snippet of a previous time.  And you thought it was called day dreaming! Those are precious moments savored over and over again.

Others may think of this blog as memory lane, for me, it's Retirement Reflections turned into my ramblings. For most, it will be trivial, for me, it's a record of the many reflections that cross my mind.