From as far back as I can remember, I have had images of ballet cross my mind. At a very young age, around three, I believed I was a ballerina. I used to tell my friends that when I lived before, I was a ballet dancer. I was most certain of it, so much so, that I even began to show my friends, some ballet moves and when we played, we practiced our moves. Like I knew! I had never watched ballet or taken a lesson! One day, one of their mothers called to find out where I took lessons as she would like to start her daughter.
BUSTED!
Who ever that roommate in my brain was, did seem to have a big impact on me. I've never taken ballet, never watched ballet on our black and white television and never even went to a ballet performance until I was well into my forties.
There were many nights I would awake from a dead sleep only to find myself in a ballet pose! Although most were in bed, some of them were on the floor beside my bed! This happened repeatedly - still does on a rare occasion! Once, my ex asked what I was doing. Was I about to expose my inner craziness? I think not. I honestly can't actually count how many times, I woke myself up, engaged in a ballet pose. What does it all mean? Why the immense attraction? Why am I so drawn to ballet? Why did I seem to know about ballet? Thank goodness I'm not the obsessive type, or I'd own every ballet trinket ever invented!
Through out the years, I did find myself gravitating to photos, statues and prints showing the absolute grace of ballet. Not the frilly, girly types, more of the abstract form. I have a few Degas like fake mask figurines, I read Painted Ladies and I have a few Degas prints. I keep it quiet for the most part. But those who know me, sense my inner pleasure of the beautiful art of ballet.
And, to my daughter, if you didn't enjoy those years of ballet lessons, you now know why it was so important for me to make sure you had the opportunity to take ballet even though you weren't a magnet to it.
On that note......or graceful step, Steve Job's quote comes to mind: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice." Not that I've quite figured out the reason for my attraction driven by that inner voice, but I have accepted it as something important for what ever reason.
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